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All pictures of plants/buds are my personal pictures, from my medical marijuana garden- hence the credit.

Other than that you'll find lyrics of Tool, Deftones, A Perfect Circle, Nine Inch Nails. Music videos and youtube videos. Marijuana quotes. Personal Drug Experiences. Book quotes/recommendations. Personal Pictures of me, my boyfriend, my life. Rants and dumb ass shit that comes out of my brain.

I'm Cassidy, a 21 year old living in Northern California. Medical marijuana user, mainly for my general anxiety [although I also use it for my back pain and insomnia]. Happily with the love of my life for 5 short years, and i'm proud to say he's the only man i've ever slept with. I am interested in learning more about life; expanding my mind and discovering new things daily :)

The most intense trip i’ve had thus far.


OKAY. Before we get started. Kevin’s my boyfriend. Chad and Amber are a couple. Travis and Mandy were a couple at the time. Karley and Tyler are a couple. Then there are the other rando’s you’ll meet throughout the night. But a little bacground. Lolz.

April 3, 2010. The night before we had thrown a MASSIVE fucking party with ALL of our best, closest friends. It was a REALLY good night.. other than my boyfriend’s best friend [since they were in preschool] started telling me lies about Kevin to try to get me to break up, and leave with him instead. [Yes, I found out they were all lies because every single other person- including MY close friends were telling me the truth, as well as the fact he was so drunk he told me Kevin cheated on me with my step sister, along with any other girl he could think of.] Anyways, I woke up and went out into our shop where Kevin and Travis were playing Halo, picked up all the beer cans. At that time, my friend Kyla texted me and told me she could get some Lucy. I didn’t get excited, because everytime I find out I can get a hold of her, all of my friends are douche’s and bail on me or are too pussy. None of them love hallucinogens like me, so after calling EVERYONE.. and convincing person after person to do it with us, I had a group of about ten people. I drove to my home town to go buy the hits.. 12 altogether [I was getting two of course, and extra’s if someone wanted to feel it harder.] So I go pick up Kyla and meet these guys at the park to get the shit, they hand me some foil, and after i looked and saw the blotters I gave him the money. Driving back to town I was so anxious, but decided to wait. When I got back to my house EVERYONE was there waiting. I go inside, pull out the foil and unfold it. Obviously I hadn’t been paying close enough attention, because they gave us one long ass strip, they weren’t cut into individual hits. So I took over that task, cutting off a huge hunk to be the equivalent of my two hits, then cutting up the rest. Earlier that day, Travis and Mandy had gotten the bright idea we should all go camp at a local camping area, so we took the hits, loaded up in the car, and left. When we got there, there was already a tent set up. We all decided to go for a walk through the woods, none of us feeling it yet. As we’re walking I notice all of the girls [including me] starting to act a little different, I begin to feel that anticipation pressure bubbling up inside of me, building up behind my eyes ready to explode. Tyler was feeling it too, I could tell. It was insane how fast it was hitting us. We had just taken these hits not fifteen minutes ago, and I was already coming up fast. At this point during the walk, we’re all asking each other if we could feel it- everyone except for Kevin, Travis, and Andy said they were feeling it hard. Chad mid-step stops, runs to the side and starts puking. This seriously amazes me, considering we’re literally thirty minutes after initially taking our hits. Tyler and Karley are giggling out of their minds, trying to explain to all of us that “the branches of the tree over there say love! Awe, look babe! It’s the love tree!” Hahaha, god I crack up thinking about this now. Of course I respond like a total cunt, “Damn you guys are already tripping balls, those branches don’t say shit.” After Chad recovers we continue are walk, trying to hurry a little more considering the sun is setting and it’s turning dark really fast. At some point Travis fucking goes running off into the hills and disappears with Mandy’s dog, Kevin and Andy seriously to me just fucking disappear out of thin air. I’m frying hard- my entire body is buzzing with the most intense sensation it’s impossible to explain. Mandy [who had only tried acid once before this, and hadn’t really felt anything] looked at me with her huge bug eyes, and I could just tell she was SO overwhelmed. She starts spinning around in circles on the path, singing “My boyfriend’s gone, my dog’s gone.” Over and over. Then she stops, turns to me. “Cassidy. What if Kevin and Andy like.. planned this whole thing. And they’re like.. sitting on top of a hill with a gun just watching us and are going to kill us all.” I seriously could not help it, I started laughing so fucking hard and pulled her into a hug. “Baby girl, you’re frying balls. Chill out.” Chad and Tyler were getting irritated, having to stop every two seconds while me, karley, mandy, and amber giggled and talked about everything. It seems right around the time I was reassuring Mandy is when i started peaking- and I have never felt so completely overwhelmed in my entire life. Everything turned to green and black checkers. I couldn’t see the path, the trees, leaves.. any detail of anything. Just checkers. I kept calling out to my friends to grab my hand.. but they didn’t seem to understand that I literally could not navigate myself whatsoever. Every time one of them would come really close, i could make out their face- but that was it. At this point I was getting super frustrated with the fact I coudln’t see anything and no one was helping me- and that my boyfriend had abandoned me and was nowhere to be found, I was going to just sit on the path and not move. But instead, I got on my hands and knees and followed the sounds of my friends voices- which led me crawling up a hill and finally making it back to the group- boys and all reunited, and we walked back to our campsite. When we get to the campsite it is completely pitch black; and we all realize we were no where near prepared to camp out here. We didn’t even have a flashlight, or ANY source of light. So as we all sit around this picnik table in pitch fucking black- we decide that we have to make an adventure back to someone’s house [we end up picking Tyler’s]. My boyfriend and Travis step up, saying they’re not feeling anything yet at all and they’ll drive. I end up being in Chad’s truck with Travis driving, Amber, Chad, and Andy. Kevin was stuck with the people FREAKING out- Tyler, Karley, and Mandy in Mandy’s car. Right when Travis starts up the truck, the radio starts and Road Trippin’ by RHCP comes on. PERFECT timing <3 As we drive through town, my tracers were so intense that the entire atmosphere was just a blend of fluorescent reds and yellows and greens. It’s crazy, because although I have drove through this town 2193472938572935 bagillion times, nothing looked the same. I couldn’t identify where we were. Then, we pull up at Tyler’s house. Thank god we all got there safe. I run up to Mandy’s car as they pull up. Kevin gets out of the car, “Whoa! I fucking started tripping hard on the ride here, that was a bad idea.” We laughed and went in the house, turned on some music. Once again, right when we turn it on Fly Like an Eagle by Steve Miller starts up. I can feel the music flowing around my body, almost like laying in water. Travis is standing in the middle of the hallway when he yells “Holy fuck! Come look at this!” Of course I rush over, and he’s pointing down the hallway to the backroom where we have music playing, people are smoking, etc. I just laugh like “Uh… yeah Trav.. that’s the backroom.” He grabs my shoulders, “No, LOOK.” I turn back and focus for a second. About ten little multi-colored orbs [like bubbles!] were floating in mid-air, dancing down the hallway to the beat of the music. It was amazing, and Travis and I literally stood there for at least thirty minutes just staring. I walk into the back room- Tyler is sitting in a corner with a deck of cards, throwing them up into the air and then laughing hysterically as they float down around him. Andy is leaning against the stereo being completely quiet, until he finally speaks up. “I feel like i’m blobbed guys.” Hahaha, funniest shit ever I laughed for days. Kevin comes out of the bathroom with huge fucking eyes, “Do you know how scary it is peaking on acid, and you look down while your pissing and your dick looks like it’s bleeding?!” It took him a while to calm down after that one. We all take up flicking cards at eachother’s faces, the card zooming by in slow motion as it whizzes past my ear. Korn- Falling Away from me comes on, and I pick up the darts, hurling them towards the dart board to the beat- and doing better than any game of darts i’ve ever played. Mandy and I danced around on the cards barefoot, sliding and twisting around like we were seven. We all decide to walk down to one-stop and by some drinks, Mandy ends up getting chips. Now, I can’t explain the fucking look on her face while she was eating those chips- but it was the funniest shit ever. Like she was lost in her own little world, and she was clinging to the chips like they were the only thing keeping her in reality. On the walk back, Andy reaches over and grabs a chip, puts it in his mouth for a second, and then pulls it back out really fast. “I fucking forgot how to eat for a second! I almost just tried swallowing this..” He stayed away from any sort of food for the rest of the night. Tyler and Karley have this crazy multi-colored Chinese dragon picture in their living room, and the dragon was moving, wiggling around in his frame all night. We were all laughing so hard for days, because he seemed to move to the beat of every song. Eventually, the night wore down, [and we all realized it was fucking Easter the next day- oops!] and Kevin and I were ready to go- but still tripping so we knew we couldn’t drive. So we decide to call a cab [at 3.30 in the morning]. Everyone was FREAKING out about who was going to call, and after a forty-five minute argument I took my cell phone outside and called the cab. About ten minutes later, I hear Tyler in the living room freaking out about how someone’s in front of his house. As we’re leaving, our friends Chad and Amber really wanted to leave with us, but ‘were too scared’ to get the balls to go into the cab [tripping makes normal things fucking scary lol.] So we get into the cab and this old couple who’s driving it are being the meanest, douchiest people ever- until I start talking about how i’m excited to see Dillinger. Obviously they love pets. We get home [it’s the most amazing, relaxing feeling to see your own home when you are hallucinating. Probably the best feeling in the world.] As we walk through the door and Kevin turns the lights on, I look down and my dog is there to greet us at the door. The thing is though, to me he looks like he is convulsing and seizing. I literally jump from the floor to the top of the couch, exclaiming to Kevin that someone must have dropped part of their hit and he got to it. My boyfriend, being amazing as he is, calms me down and tells me that it’s just MY vision doing that to me, and he’s just excited to see us and perfectly fine. We turn on Escape by DJ Icey on the XBox with the colored/patterned backgrounds. I laughed for so long, every time the high pitch tone came on Dillinger would tilt his head one way, then the other. It’s extra fucking cute when you’re fucked up. Eventually we made love. Yes made LOVE, because it was the closest, most intense emotional experience. Eye contact 100% of the time, and I could just tell by the look in his eyes he was feeling the same thing I was. After, we held each other and talked about how much we loved each other, where we wanted to go and what we wanted to do with our lives. It was the closest I have ever felt to any person on this earth, and I don’t know if that feeling would ever be possible with anyone else.

I miss times like these with close friends.

— 3 years ago with 22 notes
#drug experience  #trichween  #acid  #lsd  #lucy  #trip  #hallucinate 
First True Salvia Experience

Now, I say ‘first true experience’ because, as most of you know, I have tried salvia MANY times. I’ve tried 20X, 40X, and 60X strength extracts. Everytime I have tried the exact same way- smoking the salvia out of my bong. Each time it would be the exact same thing- a euphoric feeling would start in my shoulders and shoot both up and down at the same time through the rest of my body, and then i’d have a crazy euphoric feeling for about 5 minutes. Never any visual hallucinations, changes in my surroundings. I could always talk, walk, and communicate with other people the entire time.

I came home from work last night, and although I was disappointed that when I had smoked salvia earlier that day by myself [hoping that without people watching my mind would let go and it would work more than it had before] and it had done nothing, I decided to try smoking it one last time [since I do already have the extract and all]. I sat down on the ground in my living room and pushed the table away from me so if something did happen I wouldn’t hit my head or knock something over.

I loaded my bowl with as much 40X salvia extract as I could, and took a huge rip. Almost instantaneously I knew that this time was going to be different. Right after I blew out the hit and set my bong down, everything changed… but not. Immediately when the effects came in, I had forgotten I had smoked salvia. I guess not ‘forgot’- just the idea was NO WHERE in my mind that this change in my life was caused by salvia. It seemed as though I had been going about my every day life and this just randomly happened.

All of a sudden I was… a book? I don’t know how to explain it. I was a book and right after I had blown out that hit of salvia my life [the book was the story of my life] ended. And in my mind i’m thinking “No. This is my life, it’s real. It’s not a book.” And then a deep male voice kept replying, “No, your life is over, it was all a book put together for others to enjoy.” And so i’m crying and repeating to myself over and over “No, this is my life. It’s real.” And the narrarator voice replied. “No, it’s fake. Let me show you.” And then all of a sudden it was like my life was in rewind but I was being ‘flipped’ over and over again [like the pages of a book] and watching the last hour before I had took the salvia hit before my eyes, while crying. I saw me watching TV, texting friends, feeding my cats, watering the plants. I had no control of ‘my body’ [which was a book? Like I said, idk how to explain it], because I kept trying to resist and would be pulling back to try to keep the page from turning, but no matter how hard I tried, it kept turning and ‘rewinding’ my life.

All of a sudden I came out of it, and I was standing out front of my house in my drive way trying to get into my truck, somehow I had managed to walk all the way through my house and get outside while tripping. When I walked back inside I realized the narrarator voice had been a man’s voice on the TV- and I think when I walked outside and couldn’t hear it anymore, kind of snapped me out of that trip.

I walked back inside super fast, still REALLy shaky- my vision still a little shaky as well. There was a massive ringing in my ears that was driving me crazy, and all I kept thinking about was how I was going to be stuck feeling like that forever, and it scared the shit out of me. I paced my house for about five minutes [which seemed like an ETERNITY at the time], and finally started to feel normal.

It was really intense. More intense than I could ever try to explain.

— 3 years ago with 23 notes
#trichween  #drug experience  #salvia  #hallucinate  #life  #trip  #psychedelic  #drugs